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What to say when messaging someone on a dating site

what to say when messaging someone on a dating site-76

We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.In the study, Ok Cupid analyzed 500,000 first messages on their website to determine which ones had the best response rates. First and foremost we would like to stress the importance of proper spelling and grammar.

These greetings tend to set a casual tone, which seems to be a recurring cause of success at online dating sites.Your first message determines the initial impression you make, and only about one-third of first messages even receive a reply.A common theme of success in sending your message is to be intelligently casual.Stick with a short, concise first message; you can write longer, detailed messages later once you have communicated back and forth a little.Your first message should be written in the same tone you would use in person.Once again, we turned to Ok Cupid: Generic greetings of hi, hello, and hey actually hurt your chances of a response, while less traditional greetings produced above average reply rates.

Don't worry; you do not have to spend all day thinking of the perfect greeting for your first message.

Men may also want to consider a rather strange approach that was uncovered by Ok Cupid: This dating website found that men who appeared vulnerable actually received more replies than those appearing too confident, quite the opposite of the real-world dating experience. The thought is that these words create uncertainty, leading to a sense of vulnerability, and ultimately make you seem less threatening.

Many people using online dating websites are shy, which may explain this.

The reader should be able to tell you are friendly; just keep it casual and polite.

If you have a sense of humor, laughter almost always works in your favor.

Not only do misspellings and grammatical errors create a poor image, they have been shown to significantly decrease the chances of getting a reply to your first message. The study conducted by Ok Cupid showed that messages containing netspeak were responded to up to 26% less than those written with proper spelling and grammar. First messages should be conversation starters and nothing more.