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Sam confesses that her current boyfriend drinks moderately. If there is anything that will jeopardize the relationship, it will be that I don't feel that I can be with someone who drinks as regularly as he does.“Hannah echoes a similar sentiment, “Normie guys are great, I guess, but I think after some time, it would be too easy to convince myself that maybe I, too, could have ‘just one’ glass of wine with dinner.

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I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?It’s always a little awkward when a potential date wants to “meet you for a drink.” Telling them you’re sober feels like confessing to some horrible chronic STD.We get so many amazing tools in the program, and if you take them and run with them, then you can be a stellar human and the best version of yourself possible.” But, even she’s been ambivalent.“There have been times when I’ve told myself I would never date a guy in recovery again, but I've wavered. [The relationships] can be the absolute worst or the best.”That’s because, beyond the threat of relapse, those in recovery can sometimes substitute one addiction for another.Sam continues, “Dating in the program is obviously nice, because you speak the same language and you don't have to hide your ugly past.

However, the chance of that person relapsing can also be very high.” And, she would know.

It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to squelch it in all its myriad forms.

Sam is in a seven-month relationship with a “normie,” and it’s going really well.

“My boyfriend now — who is not in the program — doesn't see me as an addict.

He sees me as a smart, fun, sexy, loving mom who doesn't drink and who has changed her life. It's also awesome to have a reprieve from the world of AA, which, quite honestly, can be a fucking bore.”And, the cons of dating people who aren’t sober? And, the differences in lifestyle that don’t feel huge in the beginning of a relationship can begin to take a toll down the line.

One guy told Hannah point blank, “I love fucking you, but you're a transitional girl — not exactly marriage material.”There are no hard and fast rules.